I'm back with more stupid injuries. I was sleeping so good last night when I am rudely awaken from my slumber by screaming baby. Followed by whining dog. I naturally jump up without getting my barrings. I trip over the dog and think I am going to fall backwards onto my bed, i miss the bed. And land on the corner without bracing myself. I really thought i punctured a lung or had part of the bed sticking from my side. I bounced to the floor landing on the dog who yelped and ran away, leaving me helplessly gasping for air. I pulled myself on the bed, gasping I told Brent I fell on my back. He patted my head and rolled over. Once I realized their was no blood or objects protruding from my side, i checked on Sloan who was out cold. WHat in the hell just happened to me?
So Sloan gets a dollhouse for her first birthday. Brayden opens it and puts it together for her. So Sloan and Doodle are playing with it after nap. Sloan brings her the baby and they pat it and kiss the baby. Doodle ask Sloan were is the mommy. Sloan gets the mommy and they pat and kiss mommy. Doodle says where is daddy. Well Sloan gets the chair. She ask Sloan again, wheres daddy? This time Sloan brings her the toilet. I'm still trying to understand this.
Today while Brayden was doing his homework, he ask if I could help. I love 3rd grade homework. Unfortunately it was spelling. Well you were prefaced on my lack of spelling abilities. He ask me to help with the long and short oo words. OK, he has to put each of the 20 words in a column long or short then the odd ball words. WHAT? I tried but I had to turn to google. He informed me " it was only like 15 years ago when i was in school", why couldn't i remember what long oo words were. Did I have this much trouble in the 3rd grade? Do I look like I cared about a long oo in 3rd? nope!
After work Brayden and I decide it is time to hunt for the best Halloween costumes. He thought about Harry Potter, maybe Prince of something. I on the other hand knew i wanted to be rainbow bright. We started in the women's adult section, which needed a sign "No One UNDER 18 allowed". We had fish net body suites, pasties, and other pieces of fabric meant to cover something on your body. We walked up and down isles of devils and angles, witches and cats, and the occupational section. But everything was so tiny It looked more scandaless than something I would wear on my honeymoon. Not to mention the wide eyed 9 year old I am dragging along Brayden and I piled a few in the basket to try on. Ok here comes the warning label: I am not a saint, I have a collection of slutty shirts for when I need to feel pretty, but I am at the gym with kids and in my neighborhood trick or treating and Halloweens parties. Hi we just moved to the neighborhood, here's my butt.
Before I let you know the winner or looser, you must know what the costumes really looked like. The rainbow bright costume had a bra like top with a skirt that would fit Sloan. And yes I was in the adult section with a medium. OK $50 bucks for a costume that covers my chest and one butt cheek. Cinderella was a bit more conservative, a one piece dress to the mid thigh. Pretty sure if I bent over my butt was there for all to see. The Dallas cheerleader costume that Brayden felt I could wear to all his football games, looked more like grandmas swim suite. Now lets talk quality, you want me to pay $50 bucks for two pieces of cheap material that barely fit my 12 month old and walk around looking like a im trying to hold on to my youth by smashing my body into a slutty, super slutty or a there nothing left to hide type costume. We leave with nothing except Brayden s comment "Mom just get your boobs shrunk and you can wear any of those costume".
Today while Brayden was doing his homework, he ask if I could help. I love 3rd grade homework. Unfortunately it was spelling. Well you were prefaced on my lack of spelling abilities. He ask me to help with the long and short oo words. OK, he has to put each of the 20 words in a column long or short then the odd ball words. WHAT? I tried but I had to turn to google. He informed me " it was only like 15 years ago when i was in school", why couldn't i remember what long oo words were. Did I have this much trouble in the 3rd grade? Do I look like I cared about a long oo in 3rd? nope!
After work Brayden and I decide it is time to hunt for the best Halloween costumes. He thought about Harry Potter, maybe Prince of something. I on the other hand knew i wanted to be rainbow bright. We started in the women's adult section, which needed a sign "No One UNDER 18 allowed". We had fish net body suites, pasties, and other pieces of fabric meant to cover something on your body. We walked up and down isles of devils and angles, witches and cats, and the occupational section. But everything was so tiny It looked more scandaless than something I would wear on my honeymoon. Not to mention the wide eyed 9 year old I am dragging along Brayden and I piled a few in the basket to try on. Ok here comes the warning label: I am not a saint, I have a collection of slutty shirts for when I need to feel pretty, but I am at the gym with kids and in my neighborhood trick or treating and Halloweens parties. Hi we just moved to the neighborhood, here's my butt.
Before I let you know the winner or looser, you must know what the costumes really looked like. The rainbow bright costume had a bra like top with a skirt that would fit Sloan. And yes I was in the adult section with a medium. OK $50 bucks for a costume that covers my chest and one butt cheek. Cinderella was a bit more conservative, a one piece dress to the mid thigh. Pretty sure if I bent over my butt was there for all to see. The Dallas cheerleader costume that Brayden felt I could wear to all his football games, looked more like grandmas swim suite. Now lets talk quality, you want me to pay $50 bucks for two pieces of cheap material that barely fit my 12 month old and walk around looking like a im trying to hold on to my youth by smashing my body into a slutty, super slutty or a there nothing left to hide type costume. We leave with nothing except Brayden s comment "Mom just get your boobs shrunk and you can wear any of those costume".
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