Before I begin I would like everyone to know a few things. I love my children dearly and watching them grow and change is amazing. I am super blessed to be able to stay home with them every signal hour of every signal day. It was by a unfortunate train of events I am able to do so, but I am home. With that said, holy crap it is a hard job the stay at home mom. To all those who stay at home bravo, you are amazing women or men these days.
It took me awhile to find my groove and to be perfectly honest, I'm not completely there. And since I have a 9 year old every other week our routine is constantly changing. Change is goods they say! Are you ready to begin a typical day in the life of a NEW stay at home mom. You might want a glass of wine with this................Monday we get up at 230am, Tuesday 930am, Wednesday 730am Thursday 530am, Friday 800am, Saturday 600am and Sunday 700am. There is no rhyme or reason to this sleep pattern. Sloan chooses when she gets up and to be perfectly honest, I don't get out of bed until she is ready. (unless we have somewhere to be). After we are up we start feeding everyone. You would think I lived on a farm with the amount of food and animals I tend too. The dogs both get wet and dry food mixed accordingly. (at least they are off of the boiled chicken and rice diet. Thank you to a overly sensitive nose during my pregnancy). Sloan goes into the high chair were she may or may not stay for 5 minutes while smashing whatever is on the breakfast menu. She also enjoys adding food to her drinks and drinking her dissolved concoction. Which if looked at by an untrained eye (aka a non parent) you might think it resembles something that came up on your 21 birthday. Non the less she enjoys it and is getting all her morning vitamins. On to the dragons who require a fresh salad of mixed greens, clean water and a quick poo scoop. Yes a fresh salad chopped into bit size pieces for their chewing enjoyment. Sprinkle on some carrots for color and they are good for the morning. Next is the fish tank. You would think this would be quick and easy....WRONG. They need their food to thaw in a cup of tank water while my aunnime is hand feed shrimp, yes hand feed. While my hand is mid way in the tank feeding my guy Sloan stands up in the high chair and proclaims she is DONE, ALL DONE. All while tyring to figure out if she can make the jump to the kitchen cabinet. Only taking one hour and 15 minutes to feed and clean up our mess. Now lets get dressed and head out for the morning. As I round the corner into the living room I notice a 24lb tornado has hit, removing all books, toys, games and dolls from the toy chest. In the 2 minutes it took me to throw not organize the pans, Sloan has demolished the living room. Quick clean up on aisle 2 and I make it to the bedroom. The phone rings and Sloan runs like the wind. Dada, Dada she screams until i put the person on speaker phone for her to hear the voice and yell their name for the next 5 minutes. After 15 minutes of an attempted conversation, I think i know who I am meeting for lunch but not sure where. Ill call later to get this information. Shower is on full blast and I can not wait to feel the warm water. As I slip into a quick day dream I realize my foot is wet. She has managed to remove a diaper an pee on the one area i am standing. Clean up on isle 4 along with a rise of the foot in the blissful shower that I will no longer take part in. Standing in my closet trying to make an outfit choice for the day is no longer how I feel or what is in style. It now consist of can I run in it, climb over things in it and is it clean. While looking for what can only be described as "Sloan wear" I notice socks appearing in my bathroom. Sloan has found every pair of socks in the house and brought them to the bathroom where she is now attempting to put all 100 pairs on. I realize I only have time to brush my teeth and wash my face, yep sweets are the wardrobe choice today, brushing the hair not even a consideration. Grab Sloan and run back through the sock garden she has created. In the car ready to roll. Sounds a bit crazy but I am getting a handle on this and in record time.
Now for our morning outings. We hit up the local mall play areas, swim lessons, gymnastic classes and the occasional play date. Which means adult interaction!!!!! or not. I find myself attempting conversations, then a scream, a cry or the occasional take off running to see if any one is watching happens. By the time you come back to the conversation, you have no ideal what you were saying, so you start again. It is no wonder men and women have such horrible communication problems once they have children. I cant remember what I am saying half the time, so why in the world would I know what my husband is saying to me. For the next hour I have small talk about our kids. I chase Sloan up and over things. Then the death scream and its time for lunch. Where am I going? and what is the annoying noise i keep hearing? oh my stomach because i have yet to eat or drink anything since i got up.
Off to lunch we go. By now one would think i was over the eating out with a 17 month old in tow, but I cant help wanting to sit down and enjoy a yummy lunch. We order our lunch and find a booth near a window for two logical reasons. One, a booth she can stand sit or lay next to me with less of an escape route and two next to a window she can see what is going on in the world rather than sticking food in the persons clothing or hair behind us. That happens a lot followed by the I am so sorry mama my daughter though spaghetti went with your dress. The food comes and I do a once over cutting and rearranging things for Sloan. I have learned to add things from my plate so I do not have slime little fingers in my food. I take a deep breathe and relax a little as Sloan looks through her food and starts to eat. I start to take a bite and relax a little more..........Then I become a human gym. She climbs in my lap out of my lap, hands in food then in hair on my face. The race is on to get the food in and us out. Into the car where i can peacefully eat my sandwich while driving with one knee and returning phone calls. About 10 minutes into the drive and Sloan is out cold, asleep I mean. Now it is a race to get her home so I can have me time.
I carry her in and put the sweet angle down for a nap. She is so sweet with her gentle face and soft breathing. It is amazing we created such an amazing little person. Ahhhhh I'm cutting into my time. On your mark get set go.....I have 1-2 hours to do some laundry, pick up the house, exercise for 30 minutes, shower because I have not done that yet, returning emails and phone calls and finally sit down for a minute to myself. 330 the front door flys open and Brayden runs to get his sister up from her nap. I love to hear them on the baby monitor. She belts out as loud as she can BUBBA. Snacks all around followed by homework and a recap of the day. I have learned my 9 year old does not care if Sloan slid down a big slide at the park but he does humor me with high fives to his sister. With the weather being so nice we hit the park. They can run wild and scream and climb....nope. "when is dinner?, whats for dinner" questions begin. Followed by one fall, bang or slip. Back to the house to play nurse. Then start something for dinner. Which 9 times out of 10 is made with Sloan hanging on my leg and Brayden asking when it will be ready and the dogs pacing like lions. I hear the back door open and the dogs take off running followed by one happy baby screaming daaaadaaaada. Oh thank you, daddy is home looking like his day was as rough as mine. Apparently adults can be just as exhausting as children!
We finish the night with a family dinner, sometimes it is actually edible. I do not cook well. Or who am I kidding I suck in the kitchen. I spend 20 minutes cleaning the mess that Brent and I made while trying to cook around two kids and two dogs. Brayden heads for his shower and Sloan a bath. Now I repack the diaper bag so I don't end up out with no wipes or diapers trying to figure out the best combination of napkins and water to use on Sloan until I can make it by the store. I still have one lunch to make for Brayden. baths are done, lunches are packed and bathrooms dry. Now to get everyone settled in for bed. 45 minutes later Sloan is sleeping, Brayden is reading and I can finally sit down. BZZZZZZZ the dryer is done............
